July 5, 2007
This has been a very difficult week for me to live through. So far, I have made it without any antidepressants, just calls and visits from the children and close friends. They have been my support group this past year. Mass at 5:30 at St. Patick's Church in Doylestown on July 3 was a peaceful time. Only 10 people there and Father gave a nice sermon about Abraham and Isaac and the sacrifice Abraham made.
July 4th, Mass at 8 AM for Independece celebration. Flag raising after Mass, then home to prepare for the annual picnic. Had done some baking on Tuesday, brownies and lemon bars, and hard boiled some eggs. Wednesday, I got out the table and chairs for the deck, as well as the Weber grill. I knew either Scott or Peggy would do the grilling while I took care of other things. Set things up, and was making the deviled eggs when Mary, Scott, Stef and Jacob arrived for the parade. They left with some cold drinks and an umbrella while I waited for Peggy to arrive. She did get here in just a few minutes, then we walked up for the parade. I only stayed for an hour, then nature called me home. Not too long after that, Scott and Jake came back for the same reason. Mary, Stef and Peggy came when the parade was over.
We had our picnic on the deck. Scott had pulled out the awning and it was cool there.
Hadn't been used for over a year. I cannot handle it alone. Anyway, we had brats and buns, potato salad, deviled eggs, fruit salad and my famous beans with pineapple.
We all had our fill!! Peggy had brought some chicken breasts which Scott grilled. Stef preferred one of them and Peggy took the rest home so she could take to work for lunches. Worked out fine.
After picnic, we had strawberry shortcake. The strawberries were from Kirchbaum's and they were extra sepcial this year. Too bad I did not get more while I was at it.
Two quarts was all I purchased. One quart is in the freezer!!!!
Mary, Scott, Jake and Stef left after we visited for a while. Peggy and I then left for the movie in Madison. We saw "License to Wed" with Robin Williams. It was such a laugh!!! Home from there and listened to the booms when it got dark. Did not walk to the park to watch the fireworks as I had had a very busy day.
Today, the 8:20 Mass was for Dad since it could not be said on the 3rd. There were a few good people there. Joan Link, who was also married the same day as Bob and I,just gave a a tight hug. She didn't have to say anything.
Tomorrow it is back to volunteering at the Care Center in the afternoon. Saturday, I will read at the afternoon Mass and be Eucharistic Minister. Marlo G. and I plan to go out to dinner after that.
It has been good to keep so busy because I have to keep my mind on what I am doing. IF I stop to think too much, I get sad and weepy, and that doesn't do me much good.
So, I know Bob is in a better place and I thank God he did not have to suffer long.
I miss him. Rest in Peace, Bob.
posted by AnneGero at 9:36 PM
2 Comments:
Very nice commentary, Mom, on the 4th of July holiday and what you have been doing.
I realize that Dad is gone and not with you any longer. However, do you remember what you told me about a year before Dad died?
We we sitting at the kitchen table and I asked you about things and how it's been with Dad. You very brilliantly said, "I have been alone for the past 6+ years. I have had a lot of time to think about things."
I thought that was pretty profound, Mom. I think that what you did for him for all those years was very kind and loving. Well above the call of duty. But you, yourself, said it. You had Dad physically there to care for, but most of the time the husband and dad was in absentia.
While Dad's physical presence is no longer here on this earth, he's everywhere in your life.
You have done well, Mom, to cope.
Keep busy and set some goals of things you'd like to do. You're pretty healthy. Do things that you know Dad would have enjoyed when he was healthy and things you would have done....walks around the block, golf, travel, volunteering, etc. I know you do a lot of that and I really do know why you keep busy.
While it may be trite...."time does heal."
And...it is okay to miss him, that will probably never ever go away.
Peggy :-)
7/06/2007 07:05:00 AM
I think there's a measure of grief we all experience. I think that holding it back just prolongs it. My father-in-law seasonally grieved for about 10 years and it was miserable for all involved. I wish he would've just gotten some help rather than prolonging it. And then there's the Christian question. Do you believe what you say you believe? Do you? If he had indeed gone on to be with God [and I believe he has], then why are you grieving him? Perhaps there's something more going on here that cannot be solved with mere busyness.
7/08/2007 01:58:00 PM
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